In 1892, Elizabeth Cady Stanton delivered her last speech: “The Solitude of Self.” She presented an idea that every person, men and women are individual beings and that each person is uniquely and individually responsible for themselves. Stanton believed struggle and self-survival did not depend on gender rather it depended on skills and reliance of oneself in the time of emergencies and/or danger. And after reading her speech, I get it; yes every person is an individual and survival does not depend on gender. However (here comes the conjunction), what Stanton’s speech along with many secular speeches tend to leave out is that we cannot co-exist peacefully as men and women on this Earth unless we for sure understand God’s greatest commandment which is: Love.

In Matthew 22: v 37-40 (NIV), “Jesus replied ‘Love the Lord your God w/ all your heart & all your soul & w/ all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on the two commandments.” You see it is not until we have an understanding that every relationship you have matters to God and He not only cares about your relationship with Him but how your relationship with Him reflects in your life with others, shown through your actions. Why do relationships matter to God?

Because God did not create us to be alone. God called us to have a relationship with Him first, loving Him with everything we have then calling us to love on another. Genesis 2: v 18 (NIV) says: “The LORD God said: ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for Him.” …We should know who we are in Christ Jesus, embracing our singleness and where God has us in our lives before we jump into relationships with others. 

Now God did not make Eve to complete Adam nor did God create Adam and Eve to help one another discover their callings unto God. Before Eve came along into Adam’s life, Adam was already single, he was whole. Adam was not looking for a half to complete him, rather He had already begun His work for God. Verse 19-20 goes on and tells us God formed the beasts of the land and birds of the air, He brought them to Adam, and Adam’s responsibility was to name every animal. Adam already begun ministry; Adam was already serving God; Adam submitted to God’s Will and direction for his life; Adam was already walking in His purpose; Adam was whole in his singleness because he knew who he was in God and he had an appreciation for who God made him–before God brought Eve into his life. 

I know that there are many struggling in their singleness, trying to survive and pull through. You have a choice here: you can take a secular and basic path, scratching and surviving through your singleness because the world wants you to believe that it’s your fault. OR, you take the path of loving God and appreciating who God made you and that you are who you are today is because of what you have been through. God has given you wisdom. No man can complete you. No relationship can fill that void or insecurity you have. It is not until we understand that we are wonderfully and fearfully made in Christ Jesus. I recite with my two year old daughter every morning: “I am strong. I am beautiful. I am wonderful, and I am fearfully made. Amen.” I have to instill in her that her wholeness is in Christ Jesus who has begun a good work in her to do His Will.

Do not become anxious or weary. Do not fall into the lies of the enemy who will deceive you justifying your temptation. Do not fill your head with another sad love song. Instead search and find your rest in God’s Word. It’s never too late to become obedient. Our wholeness in this single season is in God’s Word. Please don’t risk your blessings on just a moment of disobedience–it’s not worth it. A Godly relationship is worth the wait. 

It is important that we know what we have been called to do and who we are before we enter a relationship. Even once we enter a relationship, dating or courting, engaged or married, we still must maintain that singleness of knowing what God has called us to do as individuals. The appreciation others will have for your single wholeness will reflect the relationship they have with God and vice versa–your appreciation for another’s single wholeness will translate the relationship you have with God. I pray all of us steadfast in our season. God does not forsake the righteous! 

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