Fasting

Grace & Peace Loves!

Wow, gosh has it been a while since I have written. The Holy Spirit has been tugging my spirit to write, but some excuse I’ve made, I’ve been loosely using the time God has given all of us. His gifts are so precious, and like time, we all have taken for granted. Today the Holy Spirit tugged so roughly, I couldn’t ignore any longer. With a simple yet powerful devotion on Ephesians ch 5 v:1 “Be imitators of God in everything you do…” via insta-stories of Heather Lindsey, I was convicted to allow God to use some of the gifts He personally uses through me, which is writing and encouragement. What God has done in my life throughout my singleness, I am hoping that my journey will encourage you.

When you think of the topic fasting, what do you think of? Take a moment. I first heard and began learning the term “fasting,” when I was in Catholic school during my high school years, as my school emphasized the concept of Lent and rituals that the Catholic church engages in during this time. My junior and senior year, in our chapel was a sheet of paper with 40 kind gestures to do for 40 days. A teenager, I told myself “Okay I’ll try it!” Not fully understanding that fasting entails stillness, devotion, and prayer with God in replacement from something that usually distracts us and keeps us apart from God anyway. If I only knew back the what I know now..ha! But God’s glory that I am not where I use to be either!

Years after high school, I still participated in Lent. Lent is a period of time millions of people engage! Fasting from social media, chocolate, food, drinking, anything that needed a break, people do it during Lent season..it’s like the mid-year “New Year Resolution,” but with a religious twist. And I get it, we all want blessings, rewards, and to prove to God we can live without these things for a moment in time, giving Him some of our attention. But after my singleness in my late 20’s that fasting became something different from what I have experienced before, something more than proof. Before I only took away things I knew I could manage without and not taking serious the time God desired to have with me. Honestly I had no desire to truly be in worship with Him. Why? Possibly I was still distracted from things I didn’t even see as distractions; lacking understanding the relationship God desired (and He still desires today) to have with me.

Why is it that many of us (yes including myself), only think of fasting during Lent season? Why do we only give up what we know we can go without just for the moment? And why after 40 days and 40 nights, we go right back to our old habit (like a.s.a.p.)? Did we fast just to prove to ourselves or God we can live without social media or a certain food/beverage? Are we fasting only because we need a blessing from God? Or because of religion? Why do you fast?

Lent was a great introduction of fasting for me. But later in my life, as I began taking my relationship and my time spent with God seriously, the concept and action of fasting no longer meant giving up or proving to myself and God that I can live without this or that or even following after religion. Fasting has now become a concept based off of devotion, intercessory prayer, and moderation, eventually doing a new habit; a good habit that will bring Glory to God. I now fast to become more like Christ!

In Matthew chapter 4 verses 1-11, we read that Jesus fasted 40 days and nights in the desert where He was tempted to bow down to the enemy’s will. Before the temptation, Jesus was led by the Spirit of God to fast into the desert. Jesus desired time with God the Father where prayer and devotion were not based off of competition, rather holding himself accountable to do the Will of God. Jesus was peaceful in the desert. He concentrated. He stripped himself of distractions and was preparing to do the Will of God. After His fast in the desert is when Jesus began to preach. Jesus used fasting as preparation not as proof!

Today, fasting has become more religious than Spiritual. When the Holy Spirit convicted me during my singleness, I knew that I had to fast. I had to strip myself of my impurities, my guilt, my shame, my mistakes, my hopelessness, distractions such as drinking, men, and the desire to be in a relationship. My first fast was random. It wasn’t during Lent, I couldn’t have waited until February! I needed to surrender right then and there. It was a burning feeling I had to become closer to Christ and study His ways. I did give up social media for more than 40 days, I stopped talking to any guy I was talking to at that time, I stopped hanging out at bars and clubs with friends, I detoxed physically, I totally became more conscious of my life.

I worshipped during all my fasts. I worshipped hard. I cried. I surrendered to God. I realized that I needed better habits that brought God glory. I needed energy to do God’s Will in ministry. I needed to hear God’s voice. I wanted to please God with habits that I knew He would be pleased with as my lifestyle.

A new perspective on fasting: fasting is the beginning of a lifestyle to be more like Christ. It is not about replacing your bad habit with Christ then when the time is up to go back to your bad habit, kicking Christ to the curb. Fasting is when the Holy Spirit speaks to and leads your heart and convicts your mind to be more like Christ forever during your time on Earth.

Don’t wait once a year for Lent to fast. And understand your fast is not for proof! It is for worship! Previously I fasted for married couples either separated or divorced. The Holy Spirit led me, just as the Spirit led Jesus, to pray for those who need deliverance and guidance. My faith assures me that someone was delivered, I know! I didn’t fast because I wanted to prove to God I could, and because it wasn’t Lent, no one knew why I was away (except my Mom). I needed God to move through the land where marriages are falling apart.

You see my dear, fasting is bigger than you! It’s bigger than religion! Fast because God’s Spirit led you to do it! I didn’t fast because I needed something from God like money or a job. I fast for deliverance, healing, and guidance. Surrendering every situation in the world to God because He’s in control. Level up your relationship with God through fasting, eliminating all your distractions and giving it all to God!

 

 

 

Twilight Zone

Have you ever been in a situation, place, and/or having an idea that is unclear or confusing? Well, I have. Actually right now, as I write this post during my singleness, I see and feel myself in a Twilight Zone: a situation or an idea that is unclear or confusing. Let me explain…

We read so many stories and articles about Christians and their singleness. We know the Wait as known as celibacy is a part of righteous singleness; we know that learning to love yourself is part of it; we even know that having a firm relationship with God is the most important part of righteous singleness. But no one explains to you about the nitty gritty, the realness of singleness. The difficult and tough times when and where you feel unsure of your situation and even unsure about your direction with God.

Lately I have been feeling a way I can’t quite explain. I sit and think about my current situation in my life, where I’m at financially, my singleness, friendships, even my relationship with God, and I can only think about how unhappy I really am in these specific situations and how much I want every part of these areas to change. Of course I think about how I can change these situations. But sometimes I don’t even feel like praying about these situations that I have prayed on so many times before (do I really have to keep repeating myself, Lord !?) or I don’t have the desire to read the Bible or my daily devotion and any other books or waking up early to study the Word….Lord where is my desire that I remember having before? What is this strange and awkward place in my life where I have little desire and I’m too lazy to actively seek You in your Word? Why am I in this Twilight Zone, this confusing situation and my thoughts are so unclear? There has to be a solution to this…and there is one.

Despite what I am going through now and this strangeness during my singleness, all what I have done before: the prayer, fasting, reading of the Bible and devotions, consistently attending church (yes I still go every Sunday!) and currently active participation in ministry, I realize that God has equipped me for this strange part of my singleness (I just realized it as I’m writing: thank Jesus for conviction!). My work nor faith is not in vein. I have sticky notes of Scripture in my bathroom that I posted almost 4 months ago (when I was being totally active in my relationship with God), and though these notes are posted for a while now I have ignored them. This morning I stopped and read one Scripture which was Hebrews 11:8: “By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going (NIV). I connected with this Scripture, though it’s posted in a place I see everyday, today for some reason, I felt a motivating connection and became inspired more than anything! I realized that I have to trust God in this process. Scripture shows and tells us about those who God calls end up in awkward phases, places in their lives where they did not have clear understanding. But (there’s that conjunction) by trusting God, folks like Abraham, Moses, Joseph, Paul, the list goes on, still went into situations and places even though they did not know where they were going or who they would encounter. We have to trust God in every moment of our singleness.

The enemy has tried to manipulate me during this strange part of my singleness, in so many ways where I should question God, become mad with God, live the way others in the world are living, and even manipulate me to feel unworthy of God. But (oh I love this conjunction–assures me greater is coming!), Scripture tells us more: “For I know the plans I have for you…(Jeremiah 29:11)”; “ Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” (Roman 12:2). These are constant reminders to not give up or give in to anything ungodly. I’m telling you, as I am writing this post, this feeling and spirit of uncertainty is lifting up off of me. I feel a shaking in my spirit!

My Dear, righteous singleness is not perfect nor easy.  I have just explained this twilight zone I have been in for almost 3 months, and no relationship with God is perfect either. We get distracted sometimes with what we don’t have or what we desire to have. We get tired. Do not let the enemy make you feel guilty of where you are in your life right now. God spoke to me a few months ago and told me: “I love you just the way you are!” So what the enemy tried to destroy me.. God used it as a testimony!

The heart is a reflection of what you think. If Christ dwells in our hearts, then no person or thing should be able to influence us of unworthiness. Greater is He, our Lord Jesus Christ, that is within us, than He is who is in the world. Yours, mines, our singleness and situations are for a greater cause, for someone else’s testimony. We are reflections of God as He created us to glorify Him and serve His people. The Holy Spirit should be manifested inside of us so much that when we go through tough and uncertain times, we can have an attitude of joy, still happy and grateful that God has given us so much more in other parts of our lives. Also, we should cut out distractions like television, social media, and secular music. You know yourself and the things that distract you from moving forward, take a break from what ever that may be.

Understand that where we are in our singleness is exactly where God wants us to be. I spoke in my previous blog, Stuck in the Middle, being stuck in God’s Will for your life. Do not let situations that are unclear dictate your next move or even your relationship with God. For a moment I did, and writing this blog gave me perspective and expression to get up and change my ways. I miss that active fellowship I have with God when I read the Bible. One of God’s most wonderful attributes is that He never leaves us; He’s been with me the entire time in this twilight zone and we pick up where we left off, like I never left.

Scripture activates that faith that assures me God is in control. I realized that I can pray as much as do, but Scripture reminds us and inspires us in a whole other way than prayer and talking to people does. Scripture gives us the words to think and say, reminding us that God is in control. Wow, I thank God for Single By Grace because writing this blog allowed me to think out loud and reevaluate myself. Sometimes we get so caught up in our thoughts but writing your thoughts down helps you understand your irrationalness in wanting God to change a situation at a time God is not ready to change. He has his hand on you and He will see you through into your next phase and every phase after that.

So I will be reading and studying Hebrews Chapter 11 as the Spirit has led me…

I love you with the Love of the Lord. Trust the process: Trust God!

Come out of your Twilight Zone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stuck in the Middle

Grace & Peace Loves!

It’s been a while since I wrote. Just a disclaimer, it’s not the amount of blogs should I write but the Spirit truly leading me to share what’s on my heart. Yea I have ideas, things I want to write about, but I write base off my experiences with and knowledge from God, and of course topics I’m sure we all can relate to as Christians and as people. This time, the Spirit tugged on my heart to write about a way I have been feeling for a while during my singleness. I’m feeling stuck in the middle…

I’ve accepted my singleness. I understand that this is a divine assignment from God where He wants me to be in my life. I’m fulfilling some of His purposes for my life daily, as I love my job working with young children and their families, I’m graduating with my 2nd Masters, I’m continuing my education beyond graduating, I’m just in all my dealings, I believe that I am a woman of integrity. But there is a part of me that feels empty at times, like there is a void that needs to be filled soon. This void of not having a significant partner to speak to/with, a thrill, a care giver, a lover. I don’t question God because I know He has me right where He wants me. This is the human side of me, the flesh part of me that begins to fill my mind with thoughts to take matters into my own hands.

In the beginning of my singleness before I realized my position in God’s Will, I reached out to a guy I use to talk to back in undergrad; we had a sexual relationship. But I knew he liked me so maybe it could go beyond sex and turn into something bigger. He has two degrees, a great job, family oriented, and unlike before he seemed that he has mature; he looked like a great prospect. He doesn’t have a relationship with Christ though, but he said he believes in God and one day he will start going to church–church just can’t fit into his schedule right now. But God! I’m tired of all these uneducated men who don’t have good jobs..why isn’t this one a prospect? God revealed to me that even though this man had a good physical resume, his heart was so broken, he only used worldly things attempting to fill his voids. This guy didn’t want more from me. He wanted just what he wanted and that was sex and company, some of the worldly things he thought could mend his broken heart he didn’t even realize he had. I got pulled into this man’s schemes for quite a while, allowing him to fill my head with lies. Nothing changed about this man between now and before. God just delivered me from my previous relationship with my daughter’s father and yet I wasn’t delivered from the way I view relationships. Continuing to read my Bible, praying, talking to God: God told me “I forbid you to go over that house!” Yes, God had to get with me hard because He saw what was happening and God cares about me that much, He saved me. I expressed to this man that I need a man who has a relationship with Christ. Nothing changed, today that man is still the same, and I cut him off for good and I haven’t gone over that man’s house either.

Okay so I began talking to another ex, actually my daughter’s father. Mind you, he hasn’t been in our lives since September 2015. The time we reconnected was November 19, 2016 thru January 2nd, 2017, yes that time exactly. Another relationship where sex was at the center. I expressed my desire to have a Godly relationship. He wanted me back and in a crazy way I wanted the same. However, the lack of self-control revealed to me that this was not who God had for me. How was I getting myself caught back up again becoming stuck in the middle of a sinful situation? The same relationship that stressed, depressed, and oppressed me with a man who had no desire for Christ. It’s no way I put in all this time to get close to God to break my fellowship with him over a man. Okay so my ex was doing a little better in life than before but his heart was still broken and he still used worldly things to cover up his voids. I thought I had had enough time in my singleness to understand myself and my feelings. Again my eyes were not quite delivered to view a relationship totally God’s way.

Recently, I reached out to another ex. Okay so this man is doing really good for himself. A Master degree, traveling, a great job that he loves, still the go-getter I once knew. My flesh feelings convinced me to reach out. I even asked God and he said: “If you reach out, that’s your choice.” So I reached out via social media. We begin messaging back and forth, I ask can we exchange phone numbers, he says yes and that he has a fiance. My mouth dropped. I thought to myself, “What did I really want from him?” I realized that everyone I have reached out to in the past two years, God has not only told me no but showed me no. I felt stuck in the middle where there are doors all around me and every door is being shut or already shut and locked. I finally realized that I was not stuck in life, but stuck in the middle of God’s Will.

God has a plan for me. He has a plan for you too! Have you ever tried to reconnect and rekindle a relationship with your ex, and it just didn’t work out? Do you believe that you are single for a reason and that God has a plan for your life? And that’s maybe why no relationships or situations-ships you were in worked out? God doesn’t give us what we want, He gives us what He wants! I am so stuck at the center of God’s Will, I couldn’t move even if I wanted to. It is a bit uncomfortable but I seek comfort from the Lord which He gives 24/7. God revealed to me that no past relationship is good enough for my identity in Christ. Which means God is preparing something so great for me, I must be anchored and hope in His Word with expectancy in my heart.

Jeremiah 29:11-14 (NLT) says: “For I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you future and hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land.” God will bring us our OWN homes, our OWN relationships and friendships, our OWN marriages, our OWN ministries, our OWN purpose, if we seek him and understand that He is in control because He is God and God alone. God knows the plans He has for us and we have choice to accept these plans or keep trying to open doors that He closed before. And with the abundance of forgiveness, grace, loving, kindness that comes with Jesus Christ, we need to know He will keep us in our times of desperation and discomfort. We have to trust God and read His Word.

I’m stuck right where I am because God has plans for me. God is preparing me to receive the blessing He has in store. Each situation grows me and delivers me to view my life through God’s lenses. A man that has an active relationship with Christ and lives righteously is the man I am waiting for God to send me. No job, degrees or good deeds will compromise my desire to have a man of God.

We have to talk to God and consult with Him about our desires and problems. We have to be obedient and be in agreement with God. God talks & listens! Yes He will give you personal commands and promises He has for you. God spoke to me and told me: “You don’t know him (my prospective spouse) yet!” No men I have known before or now is who God has for me. So now I watch. I continue to wait on the Lord. I place my hope in the Lord and his promises. I watch for my deliverance. I do this stuck in the middle of God’s Will.

It’s possible my love! It’s not easy but it is joy in waiting on the Lord!

Love is Worth the Wait

Our world today is not in the style or pattern of waiting; we want what we want, when we want it, and we will get what we want by any means necessary. We want a relationship, Now. We want to eat, Now. We want to start making money, Now. We want to have sex, Now. We want to get from behind the slow driving little old lady, Now. We want to do what we want Now, right away, ASAP! But waiting requires that we learn how to have patience and take time to get our minds right to make moral decisions.

Waiting for our desires isn’t fun and during this time we can become frustrated, anxious, stressed, and discouraged. However, the perspective of waiting our culture’s way versus becoming a person who can wait for God’s timing, are two different actions. The world uses the word patience loosely, and it means waiting for some-time, but if you’re wait is too long, take action into your own hands so your wait will not be in vein. Patience from a world’s view has nothing to do with God–it still delights our instant gratifications of wanting something sooner than later. Then we try to figure out why everything isn’t working out as planned, we proceed to try and fix our setback or disappointments, ending up yet again in an unwise and insane situation. The impatient person is not at the center of God’s Will.

My dear, patience is an attitude, it’s an essence that is very real and attainable if you choose to make it apart of who you are; anything opposite of patience is ungodly. The Bible explains The Fruit of the Spirit. Keep in mind: the word “Spirit” in this case refers to temperament, mood, character. In Galatians 5:22-23, it says: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such there is no law (NIV).” This verse describes the attributes (the fruit) of  a Godly character (the Spirit). You cannot be an impatient, stressed out, worried, anxious, and irritable Christian. If you are, then check your fruit on your tree because it is not good fruit and you will get sick eating bad fruit.

I’m certain that we all desire to be loved and shown love. It is in our nature because God did not create us to be alone. God created woman as the help-mate to the man, that we help one another become our authentic selves.

How far will you go to be Loved? Will you blame traumatizing events from your childhood? Will you endure an abusive relationship? Will you settle for dishonesty and lies from him or even from yourself? Will you continue to have sex outside of marriage? Will you live with him because you want his attention? Will you continue to pay close attention to other couple’s engagements, wondering why you are not? Will you continue to settle? This is not what is in God’s Will for your life. The Lord wants you to rest in Him and wait patiently for what He has for you. God does not want us to take matters into our own hands.

I am urging you to be patient and wait for Love, that agape Love, that your heart desires. In my post”Single Wholeness,” I spoke about becoming who God called you to be while you are single so you will be prepared to receive the blessings He has for you, including your spouse. You have so much to do right now in your singleness. There is so much work for the kingdom of God that needs to be done. Find comfort, delight, and joy in God’s faithfulness, even in the midst of happy or sorrowful times, God has been and will always be faithful and you should be faithful to Him too. Trust me, you’ll stay busy doing God’s work.

I’ve been discouraged and frustrated during my singleness. It has been far from perfect. I’ve gotten to this contentment I am pleased with today because I had to understand that my existence and purpose relies on the glory of God. I discovered my God given & driven purpose during fasting. I made a choice to get closer to God.

Yes, while you wait with a good attitude, fast. Eliminate all distractions from your life. Be it: social media, television (reality shows), sexual immorality, food, secular music, anything that you indulge in daily or often and that’s certainly keeping you from spending time with God. My fast first began with sex. I am celibate and at first it wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. What I allowed and the people I allowed myself to be around who did not respect God’s commands and who did not have a relationship with Him made it difficult. Going out, drinking, bars, sexual intercourse, all that had to be cut off, and I replaced those things with reading my Bible, going to church, ministry, and praying. In peace and stillness, God revealed to me who He needed me to be and become. It took a long time for me to fully assimilate into my celibacy. Just because you’re not having sex does not mean your practicing celibacy. In their book “The Wait,” DeVon Franklin & Meagan Good describes celibacy as refraining from sex due to a vow of faith. My faith is in the Lord that He will provide all my needs at the perfect time–not my time.

Recently, I just ended one of my fasts (about 3 weeks ago). With this fast, I refrained from social media, television, secular music, and meats. I began reading my devotions in the morning before I communicate with anyone and I noticed God is on my mind way more. I fast because I need direction from God: who to pray for, what to pray for, and the next moves He wants me to make. I fast for deliverance, so the chains of injustice are broken. Fast for whatever you need to do to be become closer to God, whole heartedly.

I want to please Him and devote my life to worshiping Him. I want a man who is after God’s own heart. I have the authority to receive God’s Love with obedience and submission to His Will. What God has planned for me is so worth it the wait. While you wait, be patient and still, and listen for His voice. Read your Bible daily (start with the Gospels). Join ministry. Attend church regularly. Volunteer. Love and treat others as yourself. God will reward the righteous. A Godly relationship is worth the Wait.

I encourage you to look into these Bible verses during this season of your life:

1  Corinthians 13:13

Proverbs 17:22

Psalm 37:7

Psalm 29:11

James 4:10

 

 

 

Single Wholeness

 

 In 1892, Elizabeth Cady Stanton delivered her last speech: “The Solitude of Self.” She presented an idea that every person, men and women are individual beings and that each person is uniquely and individually responsible for themselves. Stanton believed struggle and self-survival did not depend on gender rather it depended on skills and reliance of oneself in the time of emergencies and/or danger. And after reading her speech, I get it; yes every person is an individual and survival does not depend on gender. However (here comes the conjunction), what Stanton’s speech along with many secular speeches tend to leave out is that we cannot co-exist peacefully as men and women on this Earth unless we for sure understand God’s greatest commandment which is: Love.

In Matthew 22: v 37-40 (NIV), “Jesus replied ‘Love the Lord your God w/ all your heart & all your soul & w/ all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it ‘Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on the two commandments.” You see it is not until we have an understanding that every relationship you have matters to God and He not only cares about your relationship with Him but how your relationship with Him reflects in your life with others, shown through your actions. Why do relationships matter to God?

Because God did not create us to be alone. God called us to have a relationship with Him first, loving Him with everything we have then calling us to love on another. Genesis 2: v 18 (NIV) says: “The LORD God said: ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for Him.” …We should know who we are in Christ Jesus, embracing our singleness and where God has us in our lives before we jump into relationships with others. 

Now God did not make Eve to complete Adam nor did God create Adam and Eve to help one another discover their callings unto God. Before Eve came along into Adam’s life, Adam was already single, he was whole. Adam was not looking for a half to complete him, rather He had already begun His work for God. Verse 19-20 goes on and tells us God formed the beasts of the land and birds of the air, He brought them to Adam, and Adam’s responsibility was to name every animal. Adam already begun ministry; Adam was already serving God; Adam submitted to God’s Will and direction for his life; Adam was already walking in His purpose; Adam was whole in his singleness because he knew who he was in God and he had an appreciation for who God made him–before God brought Eve into his life. 

I know that there are many struggling in their singleness, trying to survive and pull through. You have a choice here: you can take a secular and basic path, scratching and surviving through your singleness because the world wants you to believe that it’s your fault. OR, you take the path of loving God and appreciating who God made you and that you are who you are today is because of what you have been through. God has given you wisdom. No man can complete you. No relationship can fill that void or insecurity you have. It is not until we understand that we are wonderfully and fearfully made in Christ Jesus. I recite with my two year old daughter every morning: “I am strong. I am beautiful. I am wonderful, and I am fearfully made. Amen.” I have to instill in her that her wholeness is in Christ Jesus who has begun a good work in her to do His Will.

Do not become anxious or weary. Do not fall into the lies of the enemy who will deceive you justifying your temptation. Do not fill your head with another sad love song. Instead search and find your rest in God’s Word. It’s never too late to become obedient. Our wholeness in this single season is in God’s Word. Please don’t risk your blessings on just a moment of disobedience–it’s not worth it. A Godly relationship is worth the wait. 

It is important that we know what we have been called to do and who we are before we enter a relationship. Even once we enter a relationship, dating or courting, engaged or married, we still must maintain that singleness of knowing what God has called us to do as individuals. The appreciation others will have for your single wholeness will reflect the relationship they have with God and vice versa–your appreciation for another’s single wholeness will translate the relationship you have with God. I pray all of us steadfast in our season. God does not forsake the righteous! 

Single By Grace

I’ve been single for almost two years now and just recently, I have become content with-in my singleness. You’ll be surprise when you realize how your imagination and thoughts can drive yourself crazy–all the shoulda, coulda, wouldas, go on and on, back and forth in your mind. I wasn’t content in my life being single. I knew that in a year I would be back in a relationship. I mean a year is a good time to get myself together and become ready for an adult relationship. I was wrong. I found out I am on someone else’s time:  God’s timing.

My previous and last relationship rotted into something I never at all expected 3 years to us meeting. I just knew in my heart and mind this would be my last and that we were bound to get married and have a family of our own. Again I was wrong. I was madly in love and I did anything and everything he asked me to do–He became my god. I put my family, friends, and even myself last in order to gain his satisfaction and for him to notice me. He did  nice things for me too.  I felt protected by him. He opened the door for me. He paid our dates. When he had money he provided some things (Notice I said “when” & “some”). I mean he did things for me no other man did. But when you’re blindly in love, indeed you are under a spell, you block out the truth. Sin was all up and through my life. I glorified this man and blocked God out, totally ignoring the One who was really in control.

I was fornicating & living with this man, I was drunken & smoking often, I was lying, I cursed all the time, I was angry, I felt stressed & worried, I stopped attending church, definitely was not in my Bible, I was thinking unclean thoughts, I’d even say I was practicing idolatry as I was giving my complete undivided attention to this man, devoting my self to him; overall I was practicing in the works of my sinful flesh. After years of sin, the relationship was over. Living like that, I eventually realized this wasn’t a righteous way of living. I had little good things come my way; it always seem like I had bad luck.

So here I am today single & a mother. How do I apply grace to being single? Well unfortunately we live in a world where being single is a curse, it’s something wrong with you if you can’t find or don’t have a man (or woman for a guy’s case). I’m here to tell you today that our singleness is an act of God.

Grace is favor and kindness shown without regard to the worth or merit of the one who receives it, in spite of what we deserve. According to my past, when I was bluntly and blatantly disobedient to God, practicing an unrighteousness life, He could’ve took me out. But that’s not how God works. He’s the God of forgiveness, mercy & grace. He still saw me fit for purpose despite my past. He still wanted to use me. I sought a relationship with God through Christ. Jesus Christ is the beneficiary and embodiment of God’s grace as Christ brought us God’s grace through salvation. “…We believe it is through the grace of our Lord Jesus that we are saved…”(‭‭Acts‬ ‭15:11‬ ‭NIV‬‬) God saved me from self-destruction. I can only imagine the trouble I’d be in today had I stayed & fought for that rotten, sinful relationship with a man who had no interest in a relationship with Christ!

I am at peace! You too can experience the peace & grace of Jesus Christ. Your past does not matter to Him. I have no drama in my life not even from my ex who resurfaced after a year later, wanting to finally see his daughter. I’m unbothered because I know that where I am in my life is in God’s will. He’s guiding my steps and protecting me. Your, mines, our singleness is a gift! Give your 💗 to Christ.